Ok to lend daughter and husband money just to help them out?

They know the offer is out there, so just leave it alone. Your daughters husband pride is probably being trampled right now by the fact that you even offered, if he is any type of man. A man is suppose to be able to take care of his family and to receive money from you guys might be a little hard for him to swallow. Do not be suprised if they decide to go with a normal bank. Don't push the issue, if they really want your help, they will come to you.